![]() |

I do not have what many would consider a dynamic
testimony. I once heard a great preacher say the best testimonies
were those that others call boring. (Meaning you were saved and served
God early and didn't get into a lot of mess.) Mine is somewhere in
between.
Having been a military brat my christian life
had as many aspects as places I lived. When I was in second grade
we lived in Newport News Va and attended Lee Hall Baptist Church.
I had already started down the wrong path. I started smoking at this
age, running out into the woods to smoke with friends. Being somewhat
of a pyro this lead to me and a friend starting a fire in the woods.
Fortunately it didn't do much before we were caught and the fire was put
out. Later in that same year I would take my first walk down the
isle of the church to give myself to Jesus. I had a long talk with
my father and my Pastor Ken Smith and assuring them I knew what I was doing
gave my life over to Christ. I never actually gave it to him though.
I believe once saved always saved, but I went
through the motions only. I didn't really give my heart to Jesus
then and therefore was never actually saved.
In 1985 we had a revival at Cyril First Baptist
Church. Cameron Baptist Church's staff evangelist Bill Sturm came
to town. I realized that though I had walked the isle, I never gave
my life to him. I said the prayer and submitted to baptism.
It was great at first, but during this revival my pastor Rick Blackwell
realized the same thing. He had grown up in the church, but never
accepted Christ and he made it right. Rick then stepped down as pastor
and moved on to another church. This was a hugh problem for me.
I trusted Rick and the new pastor was too much for me to accept.
I guess I was too immature for it huh? Anyway this led to me falling
out of church a second time as I had when I lived in Germany.
When I volunteered to go to Bosnia is when
it really happened. I decided it was time to start straightening
up and I would use the time to work out and get in better shape, to read
a lot and expand my mind more. After all I had a kid now and needed
to be a good example. I sat in Hungary and decided it was time to
read the Bible again. I sat down and read. At first I found
my cynical mind saying, "Well that was awful convenient for Abraham that
God told him to make that law." Satan was really trying to keep me
away. I sat down one day and started reading on a John Grisham book
and the lord started to convict me. I picked up my bible and started
to read it instead. I realized although I had walked down and told
the world I was a "Christian" and that I said the prayer and was baptized,
never in that time had I ever turned my life over to the Lord. I
believed in Jesus and the Bible, but I never let him take control.
I gave it to him then.
I have battled with many issues in my life.
Mental and sexual abuse (Not by my family or anything), (don't get me wrong
I had a good childhood), having a woman abort my child without my consent,
losing several children to miscarriages, giving up tobacco, lust, and a
absolutely terrible temper, and many too many to even list. I never
on my own conquered any of them. When I let God have actual control,
I threw down my can of Copenhagen (snuff tobacco that you dip for those
that don't know) and I haven't touched it since. I asked God to take
the desire away and I haven't needed it since. I have overcome many
issues and am still working on some. I still have a temper, but it
is much better than ever before. It is now more impatience than anything.
I still have issues of lust now and then too, but God is really taken control
and given me more ease. I read that if you ask God for something
and truly believe, he will give it to you. That really changed things
a lot. I trust God to take care of everything and he always does
100% of the time. Everything I ask for help with he grants.
He always took care of me as he promised, but now he is present in every
aspect of my life. It is not all rosey, I am challenged, but he has
made life so much better now that I let him have control of me instead
of trying to do it all on my own.