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My Testimony

    I do not have what many would consider a dynamic testimony.  I once heard a great preacher say the best testimonies were those that others call boring. (Meaning you were saved and served God early and didn't get into a lot of mess.)  Mine is somewhere in between.
    Having been a military brat my christian life had as many aspects as places I lived.  When I was in second grade we lived in Newport News Va and attended Lee Hall Baptist Church.  I had already started down the wrong path.  I started smoking at this age, running out into the woods to smoke with friends.  Being somewhat of a pyro this lead to me and a friend starting a fire in the woods.  Fortunately it didn't do much before we were caught and the fire was put out.  Later in that same year I would take my first walk down the isle of the church to give myself to Jesus.  I had a long talk with my father and my Pastor Ken Smith and assuring them I knew what I was doing gave my life over to Christ.  I never actually gave it to him though.
    I believe once saved always saved, but I went through the motions only.  I didn't really give my heart to Jesus then and therefore was never actually saved.
    In 1985 we had a revival at Cyril First Baptist Church.  Cameron Baptist Church's staff evangelist Bill Sturm came to town.  I realized that though I had walked the isle, I never gave my life to him.  I said the prayer and submitted to baptism.  It was great at first, but during this revival my pastor Rick Blackwell realized the same thing.  He had grown up in the church, but never accepted Christ and he made it right.  Rick then stepped down as pastor and moved on to another church.  This was a hugh problem for me.  I trusted Rick and the new pastor was too much for me to accept.  I guess I was too immature for it huh?  Anyway this led to me falling out of church a second time as I had when I lived in Germany.
     When I volunteered to go to Bosnia is when it really happened.  I decided it was time to start straightening up and I would use the time to work out and get in better shape, to read a lot and expand my mind more.  After all I had a kid now and needed to be a good example.  I sat in Hungary and decided it was time to read the Bible again.  I sat down and read.  At first I found my cynical mind saying, "Well that was awful convenient for Abraham that God told him to make that law."  Satan was really trying to keep me away.  I sat down one day and started reading on a John Grisham book and the lord started to convict me.  I picked up my bible and started to read it instead.  I realized although I had walked down and told the world I was a "Christian" and that I said the prayer and was baptized, never in that time had I ever turned my life over to the Lord.  I believed in Jesus and the Bible, but I never let him take control.  I gave it to him then.
    I have battled with many issues in my life.  Mental and sexual abuse (Not by my family or anything), (don't get me wrong I had a good childhood), having a woman abort my child without my consent, losing several children to miscarriages, giving up tobacco, lust, and a absolutely terrible temper, and many too many to even list.  I never on my own conquered any of them.  When I let God have actual control, I threw down my can of Copenhagen (snuff tobacco that you dip for those that don't know) and I haven't touched it since.  I asked God to take the desire away and I haven't needed it since.  I have overcome many issues and am still working on some.  I still have a temper, but it is much better than ever before.  It is now more impatience than anything.  I still have issues of lust now and then too, but God is really taken control and given me more ease.  I read that if you ask God for something and truly believe, he will give it to you.  That really changed things a lot.  I trust God to take care of everything and he always does 100% of the time.  Everything I ask for help with he grants.  He always took care of me as he promised, but now he is present in every aspect of my life.  It is not all rosey, I am challenged, but he has made life so much better now that I let him have control of me instead of trying to do it all on my own.