The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from
Cobb County GA: We, the sensible people of the United States,
in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some resemblance of justice,
avoid any more riots, keep our nation sage, promote positive behavior and
secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great
grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common
sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and
other liberal, commie, pinko bed-wetters.
We hold these truths to be self, evident, that a whole lot of people
were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a
"Bill of No Rights".
Article I :
You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other
form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them,
but no one is guaranteeing anything.
Article II :
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is
based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you!
You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion,
etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will
be.
Article III :
You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a
screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool
manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
Article IV :
You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans
are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone
in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after
generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than
the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
Article V :
You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice,
but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in health
care.
Article VI :
You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If
you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised
if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
Article VII :
You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you
rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't
be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away i a place
where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life
of leisure.
Article VIII :
You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives
in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if
you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and
do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little
tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.
Article IX :
You don not have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of
you to have one and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect
YOU to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational
training laid before you to make yourself useful.
Article X :
You don not have the right to happiness. Being an American means
that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot
easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created
by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
